People make assumptions.
And sometimes this is all based on your first contact with someone. Our instincts of someone’s character are often mapped out in the first few seconds, and whether that be a positive or a negative feeling, it’s normally something that the other person has no control over if your first impressions do not go well.
And sometimes we are judged by people we have not even met.
That was me; I was judged. By a complete stranger, yet she labelled me to her friend (who yes, was also my friend), as ‘stuck up’.
This other woman, another school mum where my kids go to school, apparently knew who I was by simply observing me walk past her, and had made a very quick assumption from the fact that I always wore my ‘activewear’ (derr, it’s my uniform), walked briskly and with a purpose (I was often rushing from being at work), and never said hello (Ummm, how many strangers do you call out ‘hello’ to?) instantly labelled me as someone I’m not, and certainly not how I want to be viewed.
I know that this does not seem like the worst label that could have been received, but after pondering over the comment, it immediately rang alarm bells as my personal image and how I come across to people is extremely important to me. Is this how someone who is ideally meant to be my ideal client avatar views me? Does how I walk, and what I wear need to be different to seem approachable?
No, it doesn’t, and I’ll tell you why.
This other lady was very quickly put in her place by my client/mutual friend, (who was also a little offended by her judgement of me BTW) and told this woman that maybe she should get to know me before passing judgement. I completely agree, obviously. But maybe, just maybe, she’s exactly the kind of person that I USED to be.
A mum of ‘X’ amount of kids.
I never made time for myself
My health, and most certainly my fitness, was never on my radar long enough to see any results.
I too, turned my nose at those ‘stuck up’ girls in their activewear, because, well, how could I ever look like ‘them’?
I’m not saying by any stretch that this woman wants to be me, but I can’t help but wonder if her snide remarks of who she thought I was is an indication of her own lack of self work or commitment to herself. Little does she know that I still suffer from issues of low self esteem, never feeling like I’m good enough… always wanting to please other people.
I wear outfits and activewear that flatter my body because I am proud of what I have achieved. I don’t dress to impress anyone but myself. This doesn’t mean I don’t second guess what I wear or how I look when I dress.
I walk with purpose because I have purpose. (and I’m sometimes late!).
But I’m still afraid
I don’t always love my own skin, or the person that I am.
I try to be the best version of me I can be.
I’m always willing to meet and chat to new people. I’m not the person you have made up in your head.
I am YOU.